5.08.2007
War Burdens
They say that those of us who stay on the homefront while we send our loved ones to war do a great service to our families and our country. Everyone always asks, "How do you do it?" as if it is an unsurmountable task that few can manage. Honestly, I have been wondering for the past few weeks how I am even functioning. Tonight is a night that I need desparately to write out my feelings as a form of therapy for my heart and soul. I am almost at a loss tonight after trying so hard to be kind and patient with my children and then feeling like a total louse after speaking quite sternly to my middle one for wetting herself for the second time today. In addition to everything I am feeling, she needs me to accompany her to the bathroom every time she needs to go. While I am usually willing to humor her, sometimes there are things that I must tend to, like getting the youngest to bed. Then, while saying our goodnight prayers, I almost broke down crying as I pleaded that our burdens would be lightened. I cannot do it all. You would think that after I don't know how many deployments that I would be able to handle this better. Haven't I learned anything? This is the first deployment that I have been exhausted for. Most of the time by the time the kids are in bed I fall into bed or on the couch in complete exhaustion. I have managed to read more than I normally do which is a novelty in my life. In fact, I may even finish Anna Karenina. Anyway, before I digress more....I am livid about this war and pray every day for it to end and for all of our servicemen and women to return home to their families. So many of us have already sacrificed so much and I wonder for what. I am feeling the strain right now and I know that prayers will be heard and divine help will be given because I want to be a better support for my husband and a kinder, more patient mother to our children.
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3 comments:
You know that old saying: "Freedom Isn't Free"? That's the problem with this war. We (specifically all the great families like yours) are paying too high a cost for this war in an effort to give Iraqis a free gift of freedom. Unfortunatly, that just isn't possible. "Freedom isn't free" applies to Iraq too. Until they start paying for it, they won't have real freedom. Until then, there is no real end in sight. To quote a famous little lamb: "This is the [war] that never ends. It goes on and on my friend."
I'm sorry.
Maybe this will help with your little wetter...Michael Anne has been doing the same EXACT thing!!! Although she is perfectly able she insists that we accompany her to the bathroom every single time she has to go...it's driving me nuts too! She also waits until the very last minute to say she has to go which often makes it a mad dash to the toilet. Let's hope it is just a funny little phase... or maybe it is their way of getting us alone for a few moments. Keep up the good work.
I read something years ago that you might find helpful. I'll go find it and leave it for you in a minute.
Okay here it is. These comments come from an essay by Kristine Manwaring in the book "Strengthening our Families". It is titled "My Home as a Temple."
Basically it talks about the strugle parents, mothers in particular, go through to make their homes a sacred sanctuary, like the temple. Here is the part that stuck out to me when I read it years ago..."Certainly I show my love for my family with both my hands and my lips during the rituals of homemaking. I vocally tell my children I love them, but an understanding of the depth of my love comes when my hands clean up their vomit or gently scrub their backs or hang on to the seats of their bicycles or hold their hands as we cross the street...As I clean windows, for instance, I notice the sunlight shining through more clearly, affirming that Jesus Christ is the source of all light."
Another quick quote comes from "Home as a Sacred Center for Family Life" found in the same book. "To the Lord, all things are spiritual, and thus the essential but ordinary tasks of family life are sacred responsibilities of transecendent importance." So just try to remember that what you do as a wife and a mother and a homemaker is a monumental task but one that ties you to your sweet little children and your husband. This often helps me through the day when I've simply had it with all those "things" that drive me crazy during the day.
Remember those things you already know. You are a good mom.
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