Today I had a stark realization that I as a mother am not enough for my children; they need their father in so many ways. This wasn't a new idea as I have always felt that I valued my husband and all that he contributes to our home. He is an integral part of all that goes on and I suppose that sometimes it takes an absence to realize the impact that they have on the household.
This morning as I was getting ready for church and spreading myself much too thin in trying to shower, apply my makeup, curl my hair, change diapers, remind John to shower, iron clothes, feed children, prepare the Sunday bags, gather snacks, make chocolate banana milkshakes on the way out the door, corral the dog into the laundry room, set the hosue alarm, get into the van, realize that I have left the posters I worked so hard on to teach the song we are learning in Primary in the kitchen, run back in, reset the alarm, go back to the van and speed along to church the thought came to me that I have not been able to give my kids the attention that they so desparately need. It's kind of funny because both John and Abigail have asked at separate times if their grandparents are going to come visit while dad is gone. They need a break from me sometimes and I think that having Marc around helps to break up the monotony of being with the same adult 24/7.
It's almost amusing to think that I become so frustrated with the kids because I feel that I have to ask them on average ten times to do the same task before it gets done, but when Marc is around that number is split between us so it takes the edge of the frustration level. I am trying to not become frustrated with things and keep a smile on my face. I am also trying to set limits. It seems that I slack in this area a lot when Marc is gone mainly because the enforcement of any and all discipline falls on my shoulders. Many times I have found it easier to give in and avoid a struggle than sticking to my guns. Take tonight for instance. I told John that if he didn't eat he wouldn't get dessert. I haggled with him for over half an hour and finally left the table. I just threw the rest of his dinner away and then actually gave him a cookie later in the evening. I have given in to Abigail too many times as well.
Hopefully I will be able to make the necessary adjustments to better help my children. Perhaps one day I will acheive "perfect parent" status--yeah right!! For now what I have most learned to value is all that Marc contributes in raising our children.
7.21.2006
Why I mow my own yard
Before I retire for some blissful sleep tonight, I wanted to explain why I have decided to mow my own lawn as opposed to letting my home teacher, neighbor, or boy down the street take care of it.
Reason #1: No one does it quite the way that I want it. Our home teacher is very willing to help in any way that he can and so I let him mow my lawn. Unfortunately his standards of lawn maintenance did not meet my high expectations. I feel awful saying that because he was just trying to be of service, but I didn't want to be picky about what I asked him to do because he was just doing it out of the kindness of his heart. Then the bishop's son asked if he could mow and edge my lawn to earn money. He did a pretty good job, but there were several spots that were missed on the edging and mowing and after paying him $20 I decided that the price was a little steep to not have it done exactly the way that I wanted it.
Reason #2: The satisfaction that it brings me to think that I accomplished something big! I did get a little too much sun on my back and some blisters on my hands, but our yard is just the way that I wanted it--beautiful. Does this sound too prideful? I feel a sense of accomplishment to look at it and am determined to spend my weekend enjoying it!
Reason #3: It feels good to work in the yard. There is something about being outside that makes me feel more complete. Maybe I feel this way after spending so much time this summer hunkering down inside our house in order to avoid the hot summer temperatures. I miss the days when I was growing up of working in our vegetable garden. My parents probably wondered if all of their hard work in trying to get me to pull weeds, plant, harvest, or can the vegetables we grew would ever pay off and it has! I have already been thinking about where in the backyard I can put a plot of land aside in order to plant my own garden this coming year. I want to pass the satisfaction hard work brings on to my children.
Friday is now my dedicated yard day. I figure that if the yard is done on Friday I will have the rest of the weekend to enjoy it before another week begins!
PS--I should add that the only two people who have ever been able to meet my high expectations of lawn maintenance are my husband and my father!
Reason #1: No one does it quite the way that I want it. Our home teacher is very willing to help in any way that he can and so I let him mow my lawn. Unfortunately his standards of lawn maintenance did not meet my high expectations. I feel awful saying that because he was just trying to be of service, but I didn't want to be picky about what I asked him to do because he was just doing it out of the kindness of his heart. Then the bishop's son asked if he could mow and edge my lawn to earn money. He did a pretty good job, but there were several spots that were missed on the edging and mowing and after paying him $20 I decided that the price was a little steep to not have it done exactly the way that I wanted it.
Reason #2: The satisfaction that it brings me to think that I accomplished something big! I did get a little too much sun on my back and some blisters on my hands, but our yard is just the way that I wanted it--beautiful. Does this sound too prideful? I feel a sense of accomplishment to look at it and am determined to spend my weekend enjoying it!
Reason #3: It feels good to work in the yard. There is something about being outside that makes me feel more complete. Maybe I feel this way after spending so much time this summer hunkering down inside our house in order to avoid the hot summer temperatures. I miss the days when I was growing up of working in our vegetable garden. My parents probably wondered if all of their hard work in trying to get me to pull weeds, plant, harvest, or can the vegetables we grew would ever pay off and it has! I have already been thinking about where in the backyard I can put a plot of land aside in order to plant my own garden this coming year. I want to pass the satisfaction hard work brings on to my children.
Friday is now my dedicated yard day. I figure that if the yard is done on Friday I will have the rest of the weekend to enjoy it before another week begins!
PS--I should add that the only two people who have ever been able to meet my high expectations of lawn maintenance are my husband and my father!
7.17.2006
Potty Training 101
I am in the process of trying (and there should be great emphasis on the word trying) to potty train a two year old. I told Abi last week that it was time to potty train her. She responded by saying, "Did my wacker come out?" She thinks that she needs male genitalia in order to go to relieve herself. We may have a long way to go with this one!
7.15.2006
Jalapeno Jelly
No, the title does not refer to a new recipe that I tried, it is the new color of John's room. He wanted green and I wanted blue and after a test of will I relented to paint it green. It is VERY green. We began by picking out bedding last week and of course John wanted something with green in it. I was bent on having blue and we found a wonderful comforter that had shades of both colors in it. Then it was time for the paint. We picked out way too many samples at Lowe's (they probably thought that I was using that aisle as a distraction for the kids because they would take out ten samples at once and then carefully put them back in the same place), brought them home and tried them on the walls. I talked with Marc about the paint choice and Marc immediately took John's side saying that he needed to have the color that he wanted. Later that evening after I had decided to let John have his way I read that allowing children to choose the color of paint they have in their bedrooms actually boosts their self-esteem. Do I believe that? Not totally. If he turns out to be an extremely well-balanced and successful adult perhaps I will attribute it to my excellent parenting in letting him choose the color of his walls.
After spending the entire day painting on the first coat, I realized the need for a second coat of paint and not enough paint left to do it. So, I got to get in the van and travel the many miles down the road to pick up another gallon of Jalapeno Jelly. Thankfully it wasn't too much of an ordeal and we were able to finish the room after a wonderful dinner made by McDonald's (the kids did not complain about it). Unfortunately I tried to take off the beautiful blue painter's tape too soon and will be retouching little bits all around the room. The work will never end!
The funniest thing about the paint was John's prayer he said over dinner. After blessing his food he asked Heavenly Father to please help him not to change his mind about the color he wants his room. It was all I could do to not start crying and laughing all at the same time! Maybe I will have better luck when with the girls' room!
7.14.2006
Getting in shape
Today I tried to work out amidst all of the sibling rivalry happening over breakfast. Gone are the days of having a peaceful hour at the gym on the eliptical away from all of my cares and here are the exciting times of trying to keep up with Winsor Pilates while refereeing John and Abi's disagreements. I think that this might possibly be an activity to be done in the evenings AFTER the kids are asleep--it might prove to be a tad bit more effective!
7.13.2006
Change of Heart
Per the announcement of the move to Clovis, New Mexico, I have had anything but negative thoughts towards a slough of different people all in an effort to blame someone for an event I see as catastrophic. Perhaps that was a little melodramatic--I just felt that the possibility of a move away from the beautiful Emerald Coast (where I have just gotten used to life here) to the middle of nowhere in New Mexico to be unfair to all of us who have planned on living here for a long while. However, after reading another woman's blog about her experience living in Clovis for six months I have decided that my anger may be pretty unjustified without giving the community of Clovis an opportunity to welcome us.
The community is ecstatic about the move of certain units to Cannon AFB which will save their community and continue to boost the economy. A friend said to me yesterday, "They are just a little town trying to save the base and their way of life." I guess that before yesterday I hadn't thought about things from their point of view. Seeing things from where they stand doesn't change the fact that Clovis is in the middle of a LOT of farmland with no major cities or airports around for at least 120 miles, and although circumstances are different there, life will continue to go on and my attitude towards it will determine my happiness as well as that of my family's. Small town life might be something good for us to continue to experience--just on a much "smaller" level in New Mexico.
The community is ecstatic about the move of certain units to Cannon AFB which will save their community and continue to boost the economy. A friend said to me yesterday, "They are just a little town trying to save the base and their way of life." I guess that before yesterday I hadn't thought about things from their point of view. Seeing things from where they stand doesn't change the fact that Clovis is in the middle of a LOT of farmland with no major cities or airports around for at least 120 miles, and although circumstances are different there, life will continue to go on and my attitude towards it will determine my happiness as well as that of my family's. Small town life might be something good for us to continue to experience--just on a much "smaller" level in New Mexico.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)