Remembrance and Gratitude

Today we started a new tradition with our family: We decided to make some treats and cards and take them to our local fire and police stations to thank them for their selfless service. This idea was not our own, but one when Marc and I heard about it, knew we had to do. This past week has allowed us several opportunities to teach our children about what happened and what we felt on September 11th, 2001. I have shed tears telling my three children about that day and what I witnessed watching the live newscast while attending BYU. This morning I had them watch as a news station showed the same images that I watched that fateful morning. I am glad that my children know what happened that day and I will remind them on every anniversary of the heroes of that day. That is why we visited our fire and police stations today. As most ran to get away from the chaos, they ran toward the doomed towers hoping to save anyone left inside. My appreciation for their acts of heroism increases as the years pass. Our son told us that when they discussed September 11th as a class there were several people who had no clue why this day was important to remember. What a terrible disservice those parents are doing for their children. If we do not remember what happened that day, there is no chance of understanding much of what is happening in our country today. Our family will remember, and we will do so in a spirit of reverence for the lives that were lost and in gratitude for those serve selflessly. REMEMBER

Pregnancy Then and Now

This pregnancy is turning out to be different from the last few. For one, when I was pregnant with Emma-Kate, I worried constantly about how I would be able to take care of my other two little children when and if I had to go on bed rest again. That thought absolutely consumed me as Marc was headed out to the desert toward the end of my second trimester and I would be left with a two and four-year-old. Not to mention it was a pretty dangerous deployment and my nerves were an absolute mess! My anxiety level was over the top and when I was placed on bed rest I worried about having another preemie in the NICU, an experience I did not want to repeat. Aside from those worries, I'm sure there were more, whether real or perceived, that made me a complete basket case! This time around has been so different. I am receiving weekly shots of progesterone to hopefully ward off any preterm labor, and I am working out about four times a week. The first few months were anything from easy (I was more ill than during any of my previous pregnancies) but that is past and I am gaining weight right on target. My worries are different, my greatest fear being the loss of the baby. Maybe this is heightened because of the loss of my sister-in-law of their baby in May. That was a difficult time for them and their family a reminder to all of us of the fragility of life and the importance of family. Emma-Kate has become attached to the baby in my belly and volunteers to say every prayer we have as a family to pray that the baby will be healthy and "hurry up and grow so she can be ready to be born." It is one of the cutest things I have ever experienced. Her enthusiasm for this little baby combined with my fear makes me anxious at times, but overall I feel a lot of peace. Emotionally I feel better than I have in years. Physically, I am still trying to gain back some of the endurance I lost while on my hiatus from the gym this summer. I have my ups and downs, but I am so happy to be having another little girl. Now if we could only agree on a name......

Preparing soil

So my better part of yesterday was spent in our yard preparing the ground for our vegetable garden. It's kind of funny because the area we chose to use has been completely dead for about a year and because we didn't want to dig up any remaining grass, we dug up the dead area hoping that something will actually grow there. We did add peat moss and compost which we are hoping and praying will make our vegetables grow. The other funny thing about this garden we are attempting is that I swore off gardening after experiencing lackluster success last year in the planting arena. In fact, even the flowers I planted in my front landscaping didn't work out. My reason for a hiatus was that I have done it for the past three years with minimal success. I did get some pretty good green beans and tomatoes the first year I planted, and herbs seem to be something that even a black thumb cannot ruin, but last year in spite of all of my plants growing and flowering beautifully, they produced nada. So this year, after publicly announcing that I was finished with vegetable gardening, my dear husband read an article in the Ensign about gardening and decided that it was VERY important that we give it a go this year so that we can learn to "work the land" in case we ever have to depend upon ourselves for food. (A very scary thought and all the more reason to bulk up on food storage!) My initial reaction was one of not only disbelief, but dread in knowing I would be the one with the most responsibility for the garden. I admit to complaining, but secretly I was a little excited about trying to garden on a larger scale than I have before. The soil had to be prepared, and as we are not owners of a fancy rototiller, nor do we know anyone who is, we had to use our handy shovel to turn over all of the dirt in our 12x15 foot garden. There were roots to contend with from the pine trees that were cut down last year which were hard to pull out. (There were so many that my garbage can is filled with them.) There were also chunks of cement and actual bricks that had to be pulled out. All of the backbreaking work of preparing the soil for our plants allowed me to reflect on the parable of the sower and the seeds that were planted. When we read this in Gospel Doctrine I was struck by realization that it was the condition of the soil that caused results in the parable. The seed was the same wherever it was planted, it was only that soil that had been prepared, creating optimal growing conditions that allowed the seed to grow and produce fruit. I wondered after the lesson about the condition of my soil.....have I taken out the things in my life that would prevent and even prohibit me from receiving the full blessings of the Gospel? What entangling roots are there that I need to take out? Just as the roots in my backyard were difficult to pull out, surely the casting aside of bad habits requires hard work and valiant effort. Just because things are the "right" thing to do does not mean they should or will be easy. Sometimes we think that our path in doing what the Lord expects of us should be unhindered from difficulty. This is not always, if ever the case. The Lord said only that He would "prepare a way." He did not say that way would be free from difficulty. I am glad to have had the past few days to "work the land" of our little vegetable garden. While we are far from seeing any kind of harvest, I believe the effort of this undertaking will teach us important temporal as well as spiritual lessons. Meanwhile, I will pray over our garden and have faith that our daily efforts will be fruitful.

"What debt of gratitude is mine"

This was a week to remember....and there are some things that I am feeling especially grateful for as I review the events. In addition to John feeling so much better and having the infection under control, having Marc with us relieved so much of the burden of this trial. Being able to share the burden of caring for John and still taking care of the girls and our home brought peace to my mind and heart. I was simply grateful to have him with me to listen to me cry, to hug me, to have him comfort John, and especially to make me laugh. He drew silly pictures on the whiteboard in the hospital room, played with the medical equipment in the room (he checked to make sure my ears were clear), and joked about a myriad of other things which lightened the mood considerably. I was so glad when he arrived each day to the hospital. The first day he arrived, he should have been arriving elsewhere on a trip for work. Once the doctor decided to send John over to the hospital to admit him to the ER there for further testing, I was on the phone to Marc, who in turn called his work seeking approval to cancel the trip. He was in line to board the plane when I called him and we narrowly missed him turning off his phone. Yes, I am thankful for the miracles in my life.

John is doing much better now, and will see a specialist in the near future regarding his kidney/ureter. There are so many bumps in this road of life, and sometimes upon reflecting the bump that we have just been over we realize that it was a bit scarier than we thought it to be at the time. I know that it is only because of Jesus Christ and the faith that we place in Him that we are able to weather these storms. He carried me through this past week and I feel indebted to Him for His "tender mercies" that attended our family this week. We may not know why we pass through the trials that we do, but He knows all things and will work so that all these things will work together for our good.