Pregnancy Then and Now

This pregnancy is turning out to be different from the last few. For one, when I was pregnant with Emma-Kate, I worried constantly about how I would be able to take care of my other two little children when and if I had to go on bed rest again. That thought absolutely consumed me as Marc was headed out to the desert toward the end of my second trimester and I would be left with a two and four-year-old. Not to mention it was a pretty dangerous deployment and my nerves were an absolute mess! My anxiety level was over the top and when I was placed on bed rest I worried about having another preemie in the NICU, an experience I did not want to repeat. Aside from those worries, I'm sure there were more, whether real or perceived, that made me a complete basket case! This time around has been so different. I am receiving weekly shots of progesterone to hopefully ward off any preterm labor, and I am working out about four times a week. The first few months were anything from easy (I was more ill than during any of my previous pregnancies) but that is past and I am gaining weight right on target. My worries are different, my greatest fear being the loss of the baby. Maybe this is heightened because of the loss of my sister-in-law of their baby in May. That was a difficult time for them and their family a reminder to all of us of the fragility of life and the importance of family. Emma-Kate has become attached to the baby in my belly and volunteers to say every prayer we have as a family to pray that the baby will be healthy and "hurry up and grow so she can be ready to be born." It is one of the cutest things I have ever experienced. Her enthusiasm for this little baby combined with my fear makes me anxious at times, but overall I feel a lot of peace. Emotionally I feel better than I have in years. Physically, I am still trying to gain back some of the endurance I lost while on my hiatus from the gym this summer. I have my ups and downs, but I am so happy to be having another little girl. Now if we could only agree on a name......