This morning I took John to school because he prefers to be a car rider and I like to indulge him once in a while. On the way home I needed to stop by our new Wal Mart which is very conveniently located right around the corner from our neighborhood for two things. Now, I had the girls with me and I thought for sure that this would be a painless event. I was wrong, very, very wrong. As I quickly grabbed what I needed, Abi saw the Bonne Bell lip gloss and asked if she could get some. I have been trying to teach our children the importance of work and earning privileges, so I told her that she could clean her room when we got home and then I would bring her back to choose a "make-up." This approach failed. Unfortunately she was determined to have the make-up during this visit to the store and was going to make my life miserable until I gave in. Thankfully for as strong-willed as she is, I am stubborn and stuck to my guns. Not giving in meant that I ended up carrying a kicking and screaming three-year-old to the checkout while pushing the cart with Emma in it smiling away and loving life. When we arrived at the checkout Abi refused to stand and threw herself on the floor kicking and screaming. When the ever-friendly greeter made an attempt to appease her with a smiley-face sticker, she almost took him out with a kick. We finally made it to the car where she continued her rantings. Did I mention that she did all this while having dressed herself and wearing red polka-dotted stretch pants, a lime-green swaeter, royal blue socks and black Sunday shoes?? It was quite a sight to see.
Now I am faced with the dillemma of dealing with these all too frequest tantrums. I am beginning to think that one of us needs therapy. I have decided that she will watch no TV this week in an effort to see if it is having a negative impact. Unfortunately this behavior is nothing new. I need to find a good book or get some better advice than I have had in the past.
2.12.2007
2.08.2007
Maintaining Integrity
Abi has just begun dance lessons and is absolutely adorable! For the most part she just stands around and observes everything that is going on around her which is frustrating to a parent who is paying good money for her outfits and the lessons themselves. However, it is worth it when she comes home and practices nonstop until her next lesson! On the first day of classes we found out that their spring recital is on a Sunday--ugh. Here we go starting the uphill battle of not attending functions on Sundays. This is not the first incident, nor do I predict it to be the last. When I approached her teacher to let her know that we could attend the practice, but not the recital because it was on a Sunday she immediately asked if it was a church "thing." When I told her "yes" she said that she had three other students who would also not be attending and asked if I know them. Happily I did and my heart filled with gratitude that these other members of the Church had chosen to do what was right. It is tough sometimes to make these decisions, and although I know that it is worth it, it helps to know that there are other people out there who are also willing to take a stand and remain true to our standards!
8.01.2006
Off to School
Currently I am being riddled with guilt concerning my feelings of excitement of my first child beginning school tomorrow. Yes, tomorrow. Florida begins school at the beginning of August which is absolutely insane. Thankfully someone had some sense in the state legislature to enact a law that prohibits any Florida public school from beginning any earlier than two weeks preceeding Labor Day. I can't believe that a law needed to be passed to invoke some common sense. Then again, this is Florida...
So back to my feelings of guilt. I have had an especially trying time with him over the past week and I wonder if other parents have been as thrilled as I am to send my child to school for some sanity for both of us! I also have mixed feelings about my oldest leaving because he is very ready to go, but he is also nervous about riding the bus and making friends and all of those details. He actually had a difficult time falling asleep tonight which is very unlike him. I feel for him because I remember all too vividly those feelings from school. Every time I had to start over again at a new school I dreaded going to an unfamiliar place with unfamiliar faces. I always wished that I could stay at home with my mom where I was comfortable and safe. On the flip side, things have been a little on the rocky side with dad gone. Being a single parent is hard work, and the effect it has had on my kids has absolutely convinced me that it takes two (a man and a woman, married!!) to raise a child/children. For more on that refer to previous post. The disrespect has been tiring to discipline, but it has had to be done. I am very ready for bed every night!
We will see how all goes tomorrow. I think that I am most worried that he will throw a fit at the bus stop (our driveway) and not even get on the bus. If I can just get him to get on the bus I will consider it a successful day!
So back to my feelings of guilt. I have had an especially trying time with him over the past week and I wonder if other parents have been as thrilled as I am to send my child to school for some sanity for both of us! I also have mixed feelings about my oldest leaving because he is very ready to go, but he is also nervous about riding the bus and making friends and all of those details. He actually had a difficult time falling asleep tonight which is very unlike him. I feel for him because I remember all too vividly those feelings from school. Every time I had to start over again at a new school I dreaded going to an unfamiliar place with unfamiliar faces. I always wished that I could stay at home with my mom where I was comfortable and safe. On the flip side, things have been a little on the rocky side with dad gone. Being a single parent is hard work, and the effect it has had on my kids has absolutely convinced me that it takes two (a man and a woman, married!!) to raise a child/children. For more on that refer to previous post. The disrespect has been tiring to discipline, but it has had to be done. I am very ready for bed every night!
We will see how all goes tomorrow. I think that I am most worried that he will throw a fit at the bus stop (our driveway) and not even get on the bus. If I can just get him to get on the bus I will consider it a successful day!
7.23.2006
The Need for BOTH Parents in the Home
Today I had a stark realization that I as a mother am not enough for my children; they need their father in so many ways. This wasn't a new idea as I have always felt that I valued my husband and all that he contributes to our home. He is an integral part of all that goes on and I suppose that sometimes it takes an absence to realize the impact that they have on the household.
This morning as I was getting ready for church and spreading myself much too thin in trying to shower, apply my makeup, curl my hair, change diapers, remind John to shower, iron clothes, feed children, prepare the Sunday bags, gather snacks, make chocolate banana milkshakes on the way out the door, corral the dog into the laundry room, set the hosue alarm, get into the van, realize that I have left the posters I worked so hard on to teach the song we are learning in Primary in the kitchen, run back in, reset the alarm, go back to the van and speed along to church the thought came to me that I have not been able to give my kids the attention that they so desparately need. It's kind of funny because both John and Abigail have asked at separate times if their grandparents are going to come visit while dad is gone. They need a break from me sometimes and I think that having Marc around helps to break up the monotony of being with the same adult 24/7.
It's almost amusing to think that I become so frustrated with the kids because I feel that I have to ask them on average ten times to do the same task before it gets done, but when Marc is around that number is split between us so it takes the edge of the frustration level. I am trying to not become frustrated with things and keep a smile on my face. I am also trying to set limits. It seems that I slack in this area a lot when Marc is gone mainly because the enforcement of any and all discipline falls on my shoulders. Many times I have found it easier to give in and avoid a struggle than sticking to my guns. Take tonight for instance. I told John that if he didn't eat he wouldn't get dessert. I haggled with him for over half an hour and finally left the table. I just threw the rest of his dinner away and then actually gave him a cookie later in the evening. I have given in to Abigail too many times as well.
Hopefully I will be able to make the necessary adjustments to better help my children. Perhaps one day I will acheive "perfect parent" status--yeah right!! For now what I have most learned to value is all that Marc contributes in raising our children.
This morning as I was getting ready for church and spreading myself much too thin in trying to shower, apply my makeup, curl my hair, change diapers, remind John to shower, iron clothes, feed children, prepare the Sunday bags, gather snacks, make chocolate banana milkshakes on the way out the door, corral the dog into the laundry room, set the hosue alarm, get into the van, realize that I have left the posters I worked so hard on to teach the song we are learning in Primary in the kitchen, run back in, reset the alarm, go back to the van and speed along to church the thought came to me that I have not been able to give my kids the attention that they so desparately need. It's kind of funny because both John and Abigail have asked at separate times if their grandparents are going to come visit while dad is gone. They need a break from me sometimes and I think that having Marc around helps to break up the monotony of being with the same adult 24/7.
It's almost amusing to think that I become so frustrated with the kids because I feel that I have to ask them on average ten times to do the same task before it gets done, but when Marc is around that number is split between us so it takes the edge of the frustration level. I am trying to not become frustrated with things and keep a smile on my face. I am also trying to set limits. It seems that I slack in this area a lot when Marc is gone mainly because the enforcement of any and all discipline falls on my shoulders. Many times I have found it easier to give in and avoid a struggle than sticking to my guns. Take tonight for instance. I told John that if he didn't eat he wouldn't get dessert. I haggled with him for over half an hour and finally left the table. I just threw the rest of his dinner away and then actually gave him a cookie later in the evening. I have given in to Abigail too many times as well.
Hopefully I will be able to make the necessary adjustments to better help my children. Perhaps one day I will acheive "perfect parent" status--yeah right!! For now what I have most learned to value is all that Marc contributes in raising our children.
7.21.2006
Why I mow my own yard
Before I retire for some blissful sleep tonight, I wanted to explain why I have decided to mow my own lawn as opposed to letting my home teacher, neighbor, or boy down the street take care of it.
Reason #1: No one does it quite the way that I want it. Our home teacher is very willing to help in any way that he can and so I let him mow my lawn. Unfortunately his standards of lawn maintenance did not meet my high expectations. I feel awful saying that because he was just trying to be of service, but I didn't want to be picky about what I asked him to do because he was just doing it out of the kindness of his heart. Then the bishop's son asked if he could mow and edge my lawn to earn money. He did a pretty good job, but there were several spots that were missed on the edging and mowing and after paying him $20 I decided that the price was a little steep to not have it done exactly the way that I wanted it.
Reason #2: The satisfaction that it brings me to think that I accomplished something big! I did get a little too much sun on my back and some blisters on my hands, but our yard is just the way that I wanted it--beautiful. Does this sound too prideful? I feel a sense of accomplishment to look at it and am determined to spend my weekend enjoying it!
Reason #3: It feels good to work in the yard. There is something about being outside that makes me feel more complete. Maybe I feel this way after spending so much time this summer hunkering down inside our house in order to avoid the hot summer temperatures. I miss the days when I was growing up of working in our vegetable garden. My parents probably wondered if all of their hard work in trying to get me to pull weeds, plant, harvest, or can the vegetables we grew would ever pay off and it has! I have already been thinking about where in the backyard I can put a plot of land aside in order to plant my own garden this coming year. I want to pass the satisfaction hard work brings on to my children.
Friday is now my dedicated yard day. I figure that if the yard is done on Friday I will have the rest of the weekend to enjoy it before another week begins!
PS--I should add that the only two people who have ever been able to meet my high expectations of lawn maintenance are my husband and my father!
Reason #1: No one does it quite the way that I want it. Our home teacher is very willing to help in any way that he can and so I let him mow my lawn. Unfortunately his standards of lawn maintenance did not meet my high expectations. I feel awful saying that because he was just trying to be of service, but I didn't want to be picky about what I asked him to do because he was just doing it out of the kindness of his heart. Then the bishop's son asked if he could mow and edge my lawn to earn money. He did a pretty good job, but there were several spots that were missed on the edging and mowing and after paying him $20 I decided that the price was a little steep to not have it done exactly the way that I wanted it.
Reason #2: The satisfaction that it brings me to think that I accomplished something big! I did get a little too much sun on my back and some blisters on my hands, but our yard is just the way that I wanted it--beautiful. Does this sound too prideful? I feel a sense of accomplishment to look at it and am determined to spend my weekend enjoying it!
Reason #3: It feels good to work in the yard. There is something about being outside that makes me feel more complete. Maybe I feel this way after spending so much time this summer hunkering down inside our house in order to avoid the hot summer temperatures. I miss the days when I was growing up of working in our vegetable garden. My parents probably wondered if all of their hard work in trying to get me to pull weeds, plant, harvest, or can the vegetables we grew would ever pay off and it has! I have already been thinking about where in the backyard I can put a plot of land aside in order to plant my own garden this coming year. I want to pass the satisfaction hard work brings on to my children.
Friday is now my dedicated yard day. I figure that if the yard is done on Friday I will have the rest of the weekend to enjoy it before another week begins!
PS--I should add that the only two people who have ever been able to meet my high expectations of lawn maintenance are my husband and my father!
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